Capacity Before Change (Part Two)

Why January Is the Hardest Time to Change and What We’re Missing

Last week, I wrote about the idea of capacity before change, the often-overlooked truth that sustainable change doesn’t begin with willpower, goals, or better habits. It begins with whether our internal systems have the capacity to support something new.

I’ve found myself thinking about it even more this week.

The children are back at school and university. The house is quieter and routines are slowly re-emerging. I’m back at my desk more consistently, writing and working in longer stretches. And in conversations with colleagues, leaders, and coaching clients, the same theme keeps surfacing:

“I know what I want change… I just don’t seem to have the energy to do it.”

January, it seems, sets many of us up to struggle.

We treat 1 January as a universal starting line. A psychological reset. The moment to overhaul our habits, go to the gym, eat better, sleep more, work smarter, be more disciplined.

But there’s a fundamental mismatch here that we rarely talk about.

In the Northern Hemisphere, January is dark, cold, and inward. Nature is resting. Growth is paused. Energy is conserved. Our bodies are naturally inclined to slow down, not speed up. And yet culturally, we expect the opposite: action, optimisation, momentum.

No wonder so many people feel resistance.No wonder motivation fades so quickly.No wonder frustration, guilt, and quiet self-criticism creep in.

This isn’t a personal failing.It’s a capacity issue.

When Biology and Culture Pull in Opposite Directions

Our nervous systems evolved in close relationship with the environment. Light, temperature, movement, and social rhythms all influence how much energy we have available.

January asks a lot of systems that are already depleted.

For many people, the Christmas period, despite being labelled “restful” comes with its own costs: more people, more stimulation, disrupted sleep, different food, social commitments, later nights. Even when it’s joyful, it’s still a form of load.

So, we begin January already slightly overdrawn.

And then we ask ourselves to change.

To push harder.

To demand more.

To override signals of fatigue and low energy.

The nervous system doesn’t respond well to that.

When capacity is low, it does what it’s designed to do: protect. It resists additional demands. It conserves energy. It pulls us back toward familiar patterns, not because they’re ideal, but because they feel safer.

Resistance, in this context, isn’t laziness. It’s nervous system intelligence

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A Personal Example

This has been playing out for me in a very practical way.

As my life changes, less incidental movement from caring for children and managing a busy household, and more time sitting, writing, and working at a desk, I’ve become aware that I need to be more intentional about strength and movement.

I understand the science. I know how important muscle is for energy, resilience, and ageing well. Intellectually, it makes complete sense.

And yet… it’s harder than expected.

Not because I don’t care.

Not because I don’t know what to do.

But because my system is still a little depleted.

The irony isn’t lost on me. What’s meant to restore us often comes with hidden demands: later nights, disrupted rhythms, and social jet lag. There’s joy and connection, and there’s a cost. Both can be true.

Expecting immediate behavioural change without first restoring capacity ignores that reality.

What Changes When We Honour Capacity First?

This is where Capacity Before Change – Part Two really begins.

What if we understood how our nervous systems, energy systems, and environment interact and worked with them rather than against them?

What if January wasn’t about forcing new behaviours, but about rebuilding internal capacity?

More energy before more effort.

More presence before more goals.

More stability before more stretch.

For leaders and coaches, this matters deeply.

When we understand that behaviour follows state, we stop interpreting resistance as failure.

We start asking better questions:

• Does this system have the energy for change right now?

• What would increase capacity before asking for more?

• What am I having difficulty saying no to

• What is absent when I feel present.

• What small, supportive shifts come first?

Change becomes kinder, and paradoxically, more effective.

A Gentle Reframe for January

If you’re finding change harder than usual right now, consider this an invitation, not to try harder, but to listen more closely.

Your nervous system may not be blocking change.It may be asking for support.

Capacity before change isn’t about lowering standards.It’s about creating the conditions where change can actually take root.

A Note for Leaders and Coaches

This is exactly the lens we work with in Coaching with the Nervous System in Mind course. Whether you’re a leader wanting to lead with more clarity and energy, or a coach supporting others through change, learning to recognise capacity, work with state, and build internal safety transforms what’s possible, for you and for those you work with.

If you’re curious about using this framework for yourself or your leadership and coaching work, I’d love to explore it with you.

More on how we build capacity before change, coming in part three